Tuesday, October 11, 2011

CD 57~15 DPO

My two week wait is officially over, and yet--it's not. I am 15 dpo, with no sign of Aunt Flo, and two negative tests.

Of course, there is a chance I didn't hold my urine long enough, or or or... what's the use? I'm not pregnant, despite all the signs.

I had major backache and hip ache earlier today, not like cramps but more a throbbing ache.

No other changes.

CD 57:

BBT: 36.09 C
CM: Creamy, sticky
CP: Medium-high, medium-closed, soft

15 DPO Symptoms:
  • Temp dip
  • Back ache
  • Hip ache
  • Tender nipples
  • Headache
  • BFN

Monday, October 10, 2011

CD 56~14 DPO

Hmm, somehow I missed yesterday. I could have sworn I blogged!

My temps have made a lovely W shape on my chart over the past few days, they are so indecisive. However, they are still well above cover.

No sign of my period, which I'm hoping is a good sign at 14 dpo, but because I don't know about my luteal phase or anything else cycle related, I can't say for sure.

My cervix is still high, soft, and closed. It dipped a bit this afternoon but didn't stay there, it likes to stay up out of reach. The mucus has increased, I am not dry anymore (thank goodness!) and I've had globs of yellow. Absolutely NO spotting since 11 dpo, which is extremely rare for me.

My breasts haven't changed much, except for a little while the areolas looked purple--yes, purple--and today the nipples were white.

If my period doesn't show up tomorrow I will pick up a test, but I don't know if I'll use it right away, it depends on my temps.

CD 56:

BBT: 36.19 C (Adjusted from 36.02 C taken 90 minutes early)
CM: Creamy, yellow globs
CP: High, soft, closed

CD 55:

BBT: 36.18 C
CM: Creamy
CP: High, medium-firm, closed

13-14 DPO Symptoms:
  • High cervix
  • Yellow cm
  • Headaches
  • Purple areolas
  • White nipples
  • Puffy areolas
  • Montgomery's Tubercles
  • Prominent veins
  • Intermittent nausea
  • Backache

Saturday, October 8, 2011

CD 54~12 DPO

My temp went down again today, to the same temp I got at 10 dpo. So I should be getting my period. I haven't had any spotting at all since 10 dpo, which I find very odd since I usually get around 4 days of spotting before my period--continuous spotting, not just here and there. I can't help but hope for implantation bleeding, but I think it could be the Vitamin B6 helping my luteal defect, which is also good news!

My cervix is still high, went from soft to firm, still closed, and very wet. I've had a definite increase in cm, which has made a huge difference--I'm not sore now.

My breasts are crazy; my areolas are quite large (not darker, though) and covered in Montgomery's Tubercles, bright blue and purple veins (I don't usually see the purple ones) and are puffy. My nipples are usually erect, but they have been mostly puffy, and tingly. They feel different.

I've googled the crap out of my poor laptop, but no matter what I search, I cannot get any answers because it's my body, not the Internet. Unfortunately, that means more waiting. I am fairly certain I will get my period in a couple days, and I have to accept that.

For my next cycle, I'm not sure what I'll do. I only have two soy isoflavones left, so I am torn: Do I take them, or will that just mess things up? I have a wonderful, dear friend, who I have met online, who is going to send me Clomid! (And I believe she really will, not like the other one who broke my heart.) So that will help me for my next cycle, but unless my period is really delayed, I won't get it in time for this cycle. So I am kind of lost as to what to do, but it will depend on when I start CD1.

CD 54:

BBT: 36 C
CM: Creamy!! No spotting!
CP: High, closed

12 DPO Symptoms:
  • Temp drop
  • Increased cm
  • High cervix
  • Prominent veins
  • Large areolas
  • Puffy nipples
  • Tingly nipples (feels like they're hardening, but when I check they're still puffy)
  • Yellow urine
  • More urine--not more often, just a lot at once
  • Headaches

Friday, October 7, 2011

CD 53~11 DPO

Temp went up a bit, but now I have red spotting.

Took a test anyway, and it was negative.

CD 53:

BBT: 36.13 C (Adjusted from 36.09 taken 20 minutes early)
CM: Creamy (finally have some now) with pink and red spotting
CP: High, soft, medium-closed

11 DPO Symptoms:
  • Red spotting
  • BFN
  • Headache
  • Nausea
  • Stomach feels like it's on fire (similar to flu)
  • Headache
  • Depression
  • High cervix
  • Prominent veins
  • Montgomery's Tubercles
  • Puffy nipples
  • Buzzed after one beer

CD 52~10 DPO

Temp dropped today.

That was going to be my only sentence tonight, but I'm not as depressed as I was this morning. My temperature dropped 0.36 F from yesterday, but is still above my coverline. I thought for sure I was out, my period will come any time. I still think that, but I know that it isn't for certain.

My cervix is high and closed, and feels soft now. There hasn't been one spot at all, which for me is unheard of before my period starts, so it could be one of three things: My period is still a few days off; the vitamin b6 I've been taking is working on my luteal phase; my period isn't coming at all and this is implantation. Now, of course, I'm praying for the third scenario, but I am accepting that it may be the others. It would be good news to have my period after 12 DPO without spotting, or minimal spotting, because this gives me hope for future cycles.

My breasts change throughout the day, as does the rest of my body, but still look large and veiny. They feel very puffy, also.

For the past hour or so I've been feeling twinges and discomfort, but it could be in my head. It isn't like cramps, which makes sense because I only get cramps after my period starts officially. I felt pressure earlier, and thought for sure my period was coming, but no spotting, red or otherwise. I do feel like it is coming.

I am still very dry, but when I checked my cervix last it definitely felt wetter--I'm hoping my cm is increasing, regardless of pregnancy. I may need to buy some lube, and I've never used it!

So, as it stands, my only hope is a temp rise tomorrow. That won't guarantee anything, but will give me a little hope, and will mean that my period won't start too early.

CD 52:

BBT: 36 C
CM: Dry, then a bit watery
CP: High, closed, firm then soft

10 DPO Symptoms:
  • Temp drop
  • Headache
  • Prominent veins
  • Puffy nipples
  • Pressure in abdomen
  • Twinges
  • Pre-af feeling/discomfort
  • High cervix
  • Increase in ear wax
  • Thirsty
  • Stress
  • Sad

Thursday, October 6, 2011

CD 51~9 DPO

Losing hope, aaaaahh!! Someone catch me!

Woke early again, used temp corrector again (starting to become a routine here) and it was slightly lower than yesterday, but still far above cover.

I had more spotting today, but I felt around, and I don't think the blood is coming from my cervix. I think I am just so irritated that it is rubbing raw *ouch*.

My breasts looked different today, it's hard to explain but they seemed more..centered. Large areolas, larger nipples, covered in veins both blue and purple. Shooting pains are coming back right now too.

My cervix is slightly open, which worries me, but I have read online that it is okay at this stage. However, if I see more spotting, I'll have to assume that my period is on its way.

I cracked open a beer tonight and couldn't drink more than half; it made me nauseous and I just felt yucky.

Planning on taking a test this weekend. I'd like to wait until Saturday, but because I drink on Friday nights I may have to rule it out that morning. I will be 11-12 dpo by then, and will only test if my temps stay up. If they drop, I will wait to see if I get my period.

**Just went to the bathroom before bed and there was a nice glob of creamy cm!
CD 51:

BBT: 36.2 C (Adjusted from 6:30 temp 36.02 C)
CM: Dry, glob of creamy
CP: Medium, medium, medium

9 DPO Symptoms:
  • Restless night
  • Slightly open cervix
  • Spotting
  • Sore/raw feeling
  • Prominent veins
  • Felt sick after beer
  • Stuffy nose
  • Sore throat
  • Shooting pains
  • Tired
  • Feeling "out"

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

CD 50~8 DPO

Today was pretty uneventful.

Montana woke up me up at 5:30 this morning because she had a bad dream, and I took my temperature, but I don't think I had enough sleep beforehand for it to be reliable. I used the temp corrector and added it to my chart anyway.

After that restless sleep, I had to push myself through work, and crashed when I got home. I had shooting pains in my breasts, mostly the right, but that has faded.

There has been no spotting or cramps, which is great news--if my period was on its way I would probably be spotting more and more.

The nausea has subsided, so I think it was caused by the progesterone (or was psychosomatic).

The soreness has also started to ease, so I'm not sure if it was the progesterone, or because I tried using Canesten, but I'm hoping it continues to heal.

My cervix is high and closed, but there still isn't much mucus, which isn't helping the soreness.

I am losing hope, having a pessimistic kind of day, but we'll see what my temp is in the morning.

CD 50:

BBT: 36.27 C (adjusted from 35.99 C taken 2.5 hours early)
CM: Pretty dry, some EWCM
CP: High, soft, closed

8 DPO Symptoms:
  • Tired
  • Restless sleep
  • Shooting pains
  • Itchy nipple
  • High cervix

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

CD 49~7 DPO

It has officially been a week since I inseminated, and since I ovulated. I am halfway through the dreaded two week wait. My emotions have kind of teeter-tottered today; my symptoms are amazing, I'm pregnant! there's no way I could be pregnant, I'm infertile.

I'm just so darn afraid of the reality check I'm going to get at the end of this hopeful journey--it can't last forever!

That being said, I've had some symptoms today, whether real or imaginary. I had more vivid dreams; one was so beautiful it looked like a postcard and wish I had a picture of it. I am still sore, and am convinced now that it is the increase in progesterone because I had similar problems when I was on birth control. I had some spotting, first in the morning--red--and then this evening--light red/pink. My nose is stuffy, and I've had a few shooting pains on the sides of both breasts.

My temp rose a bit this morning too, although I woke early again so I had to use the temp corrector...again. Feels a bit like cheating, but it's pretty accurate. Hoping it is even higher tomorrow, no more of this zig zag business!

I just checked my cervix, and it was almost unbearable. It is very high, and closed, but I couldn't tell the texture because it hurt too much. There is no mucus at all. May need to get checked out if this doesn't clear up in the next few days.

CD 49:

BBT: 36.3 C (Adjusted from 36.12 C taken two hours early.)
CM: Dry, tacky, spotting
CP: High, closed

7 DPO Symptoms:
  • Temp rise
  • Soreness continues
  • Shooting pains in breasts
  • Itchy nipples
  • Nausea
  • Spotting
  • Tired
  • Vivid dreams
  • Hungry

Sunday, October 2, 2011

CD 48~6 DPO

I hate to sound like a broken record, but--I've made it six days now!!! *Happy Dance*

I'm so worried that the other shoe will fall. That I will get my period (which after two weeks would make me happy, but not this early), that my temperature will drop and stay down, or that my luteal phase will stretch so long I have to accept that I never ovulated.

Let's hope none of that happens! I slept super late today, which is typical of me, but I did wake up on time to temp. It dipped a bit, which is okay as long as it goes up tomorrow and stays up after that. It goes with the twinges I had last night, but I have a hard time believing it might possibly be implantation.

I had gas again today, and a stuffy nose, and for the past few hours I've been nauseous. It feels similar to how I felt in the first trimester with Montana; like there is something lying at the bottom of my stomach. Not so much acid as, well, poop. Gross, I know! But when I was pregnant, and had to use the washroom, I had this feeling. I would run to the bathroom, but if I was too late, I would throw up. That's how this feels. Probably only because I want it so much, though.

More dreams last night. They included crashing a Mary Kay helicopter, being accused of flirting with a married coworker, and moving to a place but not knowing where it was. Strange.

Also, I checked my cervix a couple times today, and it was almost sore. Not the actual cervix, just the area surrounding it. Not sure if it's the lack of mucus or what, but worth noting.

CD 48:

BBT: 36.15 C
CM: Dry, creamy, almost EWCM
CP: Medium, soft, closed

6 DPO Symptoms:
  • Nausea
  • Gas
  • Sore underarms
  • Headache
  • Temp dip
  • Vivid crazy ass dreams

CD 47 ~ 5 DPO

Five days and counting!

I woke up a couple hours early today, either because of my cat or because of my about-to-burst bladder. Luckily I remembered to take my temperature before getting out of bed, and then used the online temp corrector. It was a nice jump from yesterday (0.432 Fahrenheit, which qualifies as a 'spike'.)

I went to a party tonight, and didn't drink much in case it hinders implantation, and I ate pineapple which apparently helps implantation, so hopefully everything is okay there. I did feel twinges while I was at the party, but it's pretty early, so I'm sure it's psychological.

I had some very strange dreams again--I haven't mentioned them yet, so here is a bit of description:
  1. I was a vampire, and someone drove a stake through my heart. I had a baby, and when I died I could feel my hand burning, I think it was about to explode, and I think this meant my baby would die too.
  2. I was spotting, brown, then pink, light red, and then tons of brown globs. I thought at first it was implantation, but there was so much that it made me think it was my period. I dipped 2 FRER tests at the same time, and they both instantly became positive. I kept spotting these brown bits, and had unbearable cramps, so I was worried it was a miscarriage. (When I woke up I was so convinced I'd have my period or spotting because the dream was so real.)
  3. Someone's teenage daughter was murdered, so I went to the house to comfort the family and try to figure out what happened, even though I didn't know the people. One of the younger brothers clung to me and I became responsible for him, and then I became engaged to the murdered girl's older boyfriend. There was more to this dream but it's fuzzy to me now.
  4. My close friend's son somehow set my hair on fire the first time I met him.
My dreams have been...interesting. For some reason heat is prominent, but I don't know what that means except maybe my body temperature is rising while I sleep.

My cervix is very low today, which is typical post-ovulation, and that makes me happy!

I am tired now, so I will be back soon!

CD 47:

BBT: 36.31 C (Adjusted from 36.12 C two hours earlier than my usual temp time)
CM: Creamy (big globs of yellow and clear)
CP: Low, closed, medium-firm

5 DPO Symptoms:
  • Vivid dreams
  • Temp spike
  • Twinges
  • Headache
  • Tired
  • Thirsty
  • Bloated
  • Low cervix
  • Increase in mucus, although still feeling "dry"

Friday, September 30, 2011

CD 46~4 DPO

I have made it to 4 dpo! My temp did go down a bit, but not enough to worry. When I look at charts online, it seems that a 4 dpo dip is very common. I am hoping for a rise tomorrow to show a normal luteal phase. I can't really think beyond that, this day-to-day focus is really helping.

CD 46:

BBT: 36.07 C
CM: Dry, sticky, bit of creamy
CP: Low, closed, medium-firm

4 DPO Symptoms:
  • Temp dip
  • Gas
  • Low cervix
  • Backache
  • Vivid dreams
  • Prominent veins
  • Montgomery's tubercles
  • Headache
  • Dizziness
  • Bleeding gums

CD 45~3 DPO

I can't believe it... my body ovulated. My temperatures have gone up three days in a row! I have real crosshairs on my chart--they're solid, not dotted! This is the first time since I started charting that I have had solid crosshairs, so I am very happy. I am trying to focus on that fact rather than the whole ovulation-makes-a-baby dream.

CD 45:

BBT: 36.25 C
CM: Dry/sticky
CP: Low, medium-firm, closed

CD 44:

BBT: 36.17 C (Adjusted from 36.06 C an hour earlier than my usual temp time)
CP: High, soft, closed

CD 43:

BBT: 35.99 C
CP: Medium, medium, open

0-3 DPO Symptoms:
  • Fatigue
  • Headaches
  • Pinching in abdomen
  • Increased libido
  • Backache
  • Stuffy nose
  • Stress
  • Eczema

Monday, September 26, 2011

CD 42

Okay I'm back. I have thought a lot about everything, and after I calmed down and could think rationally again, I decided I will try my best to finish out 2011. I emailed SD2 and told him my plan: Every time I get a positive OPK, I will try to conceive, and hope that one of those OPK's results in ovulation.

Last night I got an OPK that was positive, or close to it, and egg-white mucus, so I had SD2 come over today.

I also emailed one of the people who give psychic predictions about conception, but it looks like it could take a month or so to get some results. It will be interesting to see what she says!

CD 42:

BBT: 35.73 C

CD 41:

CM: Eggwhite, creamy
CP: High, closed

CD 40:

BBT: 36.12 C

CD 39:

BBT: 36.09 C

CD 38:

BBT: 35.89 C
CM: Watery
CP: Low, firm, medium-open

CD 37:

CM: Eggwhite
CP: High, medium, closed

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

CD 36

Not really into talking about anything.. I'll just make this short.

I've taken other tests, all negative, so I have to assume that line was a freak thing; a false positive or an evaporation line.

Temp is staying down, my chart moved ovulation up to CD 31, meaning I am 5 DPO now. I don't even think I ovulated.

Still super tired, which feels like when I was pregnant but is probably the stress and depression of it all.

I don't know where I stand on TTC at this point, I think I'm at rock bottom. It is all consuming, and unhealthy. I'm thinking of seeing a therapist to help me deal with everything. I don't know when I'll blog again, I'm just taking it a day at a time for now.

CD 36:

BBT: 35.95 C
CM: Creamy
CP: High, closed

CD 35:

BBT: 36.02 C

Sunday, September 18, 2011

CD 34 ~ 9 DPO

Okay, so I have been super busy and extremely tired, so I haven't had a chance to update. A couple days ago I had a bit of a spike, and my chart gave me crosshairs, saying that I ovulated CD 25. I wasn't sure I agreed with that, but I was happy.

Yesterday I thought my temp went down and was quite disappointed, and discouraged. I was busy all day until bedtime, but turned on the computer real quick to put my temp into FF (Fertility Friend) and double checked my thermometer. I got one of the numbers wrong, which changed my temperature by nearly a degree! That is a HUGE difference. That gave me a lovely spike, and I passed out.

Today my temp was down a bit, but it was above my coverline and I'm not sure I slept three hours in a row because my kitty woke me up a few times, so I didn't worry too much.

This afternoon I decided to take an OPK to be sure, and thought, what the heck, and dipped an HPT also. I got a bfn on the HPT, which is no surprise, especially since I'm (at most) 9 DPO, but the OPK was dark! I was like.. what the hell? I posted it on my ttc message board, and most people agreed that I hadn't ovulated at all, and that I am still gearing up to it. However, one person said she saw something. WHAAA?? I didn't, it was stark white.

Being the obsessive ttc-er that I am, I decided to pee again.. well actually, my body decided to pee again, I just decided to stick a cup underneath. I dipped a test, and, I'll be damned... there's a line.

Being also the pessimist that I am, I dipped four more tests, and one OPK. The OPK was dark again, three HPT's were bfn, and one HPT was a dud. There may not be a line on the three tests, but they aren't exactly white either. And there is no mistaking the line on the first one, it's just a matter of whether it is an evaporation or a real bfp.

I am dying, I feel nauseous and so scared that it isn't real, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up. I will test again before bed, and in the morning if I have time. Fingers very much crossed!

CD 34:

BBT: 36.08 C
CM: Creamy, tiny pinpoint of pink
CP: High, closed, soft

CD 33:

BBT: 37.01 C
CM: Creamy
CP: Medium-low, medium-open

CD 32:

BBT: 36.32 C
CM: Creamy
CP: High, closed, medium texture

7-9 DPO SYMPTOMS:
  • FATIGUE--just like my pregnancy, but could be due to stress
  • Twinges/cramps today
  • Headaches
  • Major skin breakout
  • Major MT's on left areola today
  • Vivid dreams
  • Frequent urination
  • Irritability
  • Bloating--like sooo fat today. I look 4 months pregnant.
  • Nausea

Friday, September 16, 2011

CD 31

Feeling pretty discouraged today. My temp was super low, but I woke up an hour early, so I used the temp corrector as to not mess up my chart too much.

I keep making excuses:
  1. It can take 1-2 days for progesterone to cause a rise in BBT
  2. I woke up an hour early, so I may not have gotten enough sleep before temping
  3. I may be low in progesterone
  4. It may be a slow rise rather than an abrupt spike
and really, I am just done. I'm so ready to throw in the towel and scream "YOU WIN!" to whomever is causing my secondary infertility.

While thinking up excuse #3, I remembered I have a copy of test results from when I had blood drawn seven months ago. So I am now sitting here, poring over my results and entering the information into google, hoping it will spit out something useful.

Here is what is written on my lab results:

PITUITARY FUNCTION
FSH 6.1 (<133.1) U/L
(Roche - Electrochemiluminescence)

(2.0 - 11.0 ) Follicular
(5.0 - 34.0) Midcycle
(1.0 - 8.0) Luteal
(28.0 - 133.0) Postmenopausal

I don't quite know what the numbers mean, but I think because I was on CD 41 of an almost 100 day cycle, I'd count it as "midcycle." By looking at that number, my result was very low, which is a good sign.

Prolactin 12.4 (5.0 - 23.0) ug/L
(Roche - Electrochemiluminescence)

Not sure how to read this one; 12.4 falls somewhere in the middle, which could be normal, or could cause infertility, it's too difficult to decipher. High prolactin can be caused by polycystic ovarian syndrome. Wow, I'm shocked.

I will try to read more tomorrow, but for now, I am exhausted. I don't know if it's stress that I've been dealing with lately, or if it's a symptom of ovulation, but I am wiped right out.

CD 31:

BBT 7 AM: 35.87 C
BBT Corrected: 35.98 C
CM: Sticky, dry
CP: Low, firm, medium-open

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

CD 30

I am so tired right now I don't know if I can remember everything I need to for this blog.

My temp was a bit higher today. Not high enough to be called a "spike," but definitely higher than yesterday's, and if it keeps rising then I may be able to pinpoint ovulation.

My CM has almost completely dried up, which is unusual for me, but not unusual for post-ovulation. My cervix is lower than it was a few days ago, which again, is typical after ovulation. Also, it is closed up tight. I haven't always been able to tell if it is open or closed, but it was most definitely open last week, and is certainly closed now.

My areolas are large and puffy, with Montgomery's tubercles showing right now.

So it would be nice if my temperature would cooperate, and continue to rise from here on out. Of course, I have little faith in my body, so we'll see.

CD 30:

BBT: 36.05 C
CM: Dry, sticky
CP: Low, closed, medium-soft

CD 29

Oops, slacking again.

A few things have happened during the last few days, here they are in order:
  1. My temp went up, and my OPK's got faint.
  2. My temp went up higher, and the line on my OPK's was almost nonexistent.
  3. My sex drive went up, my temp reached its peak, and I got a positive OPK.
  4. My temp dipped a bit, and I had SD2 over for AI. My chart showed ovulation on CD 25.
  5. My temp plummeted. Chart took ovulation away. Line on OPK is nonexistent again.
So that's where I am now; still waiting to see if I have ovulated, confused about my random positive OPK. If I have a temp spike tomorrow I'll be very happy because I was inseminated yesterday.

CD 29:

BBT: 35.72 C
CM: Watery, little bit dry
CP: Medium, closed

CD 28:

BBT: 36.18 C

CD 27:

BBT: 36.35 C
CM: Creamy

CD 26:

BBT: 36.08 C
CM: Eggwhite

CD 25:

BBT: 35.96 C
CM: Creamy
CP: High, soft, medium open

Thursday, September 8, 2011

CD 24

Wow, I was a ball of nerves leading up to AI, and now two days have passed already!

I have been over-analyzing my chart, other women's charts, my cervix, and my OPKs. Today's test was so incredibly negative, I could barely see the line--much like when I first started testing two weeks ago. I decided to do some research online on fade-ins and -outs to see how common they were and what that means for my cycle.

After reading POAS.com, I discovered that one or two of my OPKs were positive! The result lines were what the website called "Half Positives," in that one side of the line was as dark as the control line, if not the whole thing. I have marked this in my chart, and it is looking more and more like I ovulated two days ago--the day of insemination.

I'm not sure how good my chances are with this information, but I will keep taking my temperature and hope for a thermal shift. It was quite low today, which bothers me, but yesterday's temp could almost be a spike, which would make today's temp a fallback rise, if it goes up tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

I have been very emotional today and yesterday, which kind of goes with the territory when you're clinically depressed, but I have been very teary. I cried last night, and a bit today. I am just very sad. I am hoping that is a symptom of ovulation, to go along with the little pangs I've had in my abdomen lately, and the spotting I had the day of my second positive OPK. (It was literally a spot of pink, not much at all, but there nonetheless.) I haven't been charting my cm because it would be mixed with semen, but I have been checking my cervix itself. Last night it was very obviously open! I hope this means I ovulated last night. My breasts are also different; I have Montgomery's Tubercles again, and the areolas are larger. If I have a confirmed ovulation on my chart in the next couple days I will start listing my symptoms.

CD 24:

BBT: 35.79 C
CP: Medium, medium open

CD 23:

BBT: 36.07 C
CP: Medium, open.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

CD 22

I am laying in bed with pillows under my hips and no pillows under my head. I am pretty uncomfortable trying to type this way. Why? Because I was just inseminated.

I won't go into gory details--suffice it to say SD2 left a little while ago.

My OPK was an iota lighter than yesterday, so I don't know if it's a fake ovulation, if I haven't quite gotten to ovulation yet, or if I missed it altogether. I think I can rule out the third option because my temp dropped even more today, and it should spike after ovulation.

Now I wait. I am hoping to have a spiked temp in two days. Tomorrow would be okay too, but because it is the end of the day I hope to ovulate tomorrow and spike after that. Hope to be back after ovulation!

CD 22:

BBT: 35.88 C
CM: Watery, sticky
CP: High, soft, medium open.

CD 21

My, my, how time flies when I don't blog!

My period has come and gone, and I received my OPK's in the mail. I have been testing every day, and have observed a lovely fade-in!

Not only that, but I think I will ovulate tomorrow or the next day! This is huge news for me, because I don't think I have been ovulating at all, except a few months ago when I think I ovulated on day 96 of my cycle.

I just had a bit of spotting a while ago, which is a good indicator of ovulation, and I've had egg white cervical mucus for three days in a row, which is an excellent indicator!

I was hoping to have SD2 come over tonight, but I had cell phone issues and by the time I realized he couldn't receive my texts, it was too late to do anything about it. Hopefully I can work something out with him tomorrow.

Unfortunately, SD2 emailed me about a week ago to tell me he is dating someone. This means no more NI, which is fine as it takes away some of the pressure I've been feeling, but he will only do AI during ovulation. This basically gives me a one time chance, because once ovulation is done, I have to wait for the next cycle.

For now, I am hoping to ovulate in the next two days, and to have SD2 over here to catch that egg! Wish me luck!

CD 21:

BBT: 35.99 C
CM: EW, creamy
CP: Medium across the board

CD 20:

BBT: 36.4 C
CM: EW
CP: Medium across the board

CD 19:

BBT: 36.22 C
CM: EW
CP: High, soft, medium open

CD 18:

BBT: 36.2 C
CM: Creamy
CP: Low, medium texture, open

CD 17:

CP: High, soft

CD 16:

CM: Creamy
CP: High, soft, closed

Thursday, August 18, 2011

CD 2

Guess who showed up yesterday? Yes, my (not-so-)monthly friend!

I emailed SD2 to let him know, and now I play the waiting game. Tomorrow I will start taking soy, and I have been taking Fertibella, Folic acid, and vitamin b6. I will buy vitamin b12 this weekend.

I didn't get my temperature this morning because by the time I remembered to do it I'd already been awake too long to get an accurate reading. I won't bother including my temp here until my period is finished, so that I can include cervical mucus and position.

See you in a few days!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

CD 102

Has it really been 30 days since I last signed in here? Wow, that is pathetic.

I am now on day 102 of this horrible cycle, one that had me thinking I ovulated on CD 14--88 days ago! Shameful!

I haven't been taking my temperature, or any pills. I decided to stop for a while and take birth control pills to bring on my period, and then start the routine again.

Last night was my last pill, so my period is supposed to be here today or tomorrow, but more likely it will be a week from now, which is okay because then it'll time out my sessions with SD2 better because the kids will be back in school.

So, my plan for the next cycle is:

Take the following pills:
  • Soy Isoflavones ~ haven't decided which days yet, will be researching for an early ovulation
  • Fertibella ~ I don't have a full month's worth of course, but I will take what I have left.
  • Vitamin b6
  • Vitamin b12 ~ I may buy a combo pack of the two B vitamins
  • Pre natal pills
  • Folic acid
I have ordered the following:
  • OPK's
  • HPT's
Thinking of ordering the following:
  • Preseed lubricant
  • Fertilitea
  • Vitex
Doing the following:
  • Temping
  • Checking cervical position and mucus
  • Setting up a reasonable schedule with SD2
  • Using OPK's once I have an increase in mucus
  • Praying until I lose my voice
Bring on the next cycle!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

CD 72

Hello again. I have been a bit MIA lately, but I have a good excuse! I was on vacation. Today was my last official day off, so I thought I'd drop in and blog a bit.

Guess what??? Nothing! That's right, NOTHING! Nothing has changed since my last entry, whenever that was. No ovulation, no period, no positive tests whether OPK or HPT.

I'm taking Fertibella now, along with my Vitamin b6, pre-natals, and folic acid. As you can see from the title, the pill-popping-parade has done little for my reproductive cycle.

Yet, people all around me are conceiving, even when it is not desired! So I know it is still possible to create babies, I just haven't the ability. Sad sack, this chick.

I didn't take my temperature at all when I was away because we were so deep into the mountains that we had no cell phone service, which dummy me neglected to realize meant my cell phone wouldn't have a clock on it, and therefore I couldn't set my alarm to wake up and chart my temperature. Being that I am in my third month of this cycle, I think that was a nice break. Since I have been home, I have used my BBT sporadically, so I won't bother listing the temps here. My chart looks the same as it did, though, the temperatures are hovering around 36 degrees Celsius, so nothing has really fluctuated there.

That's all for now! Come on Auntie Flo! Visit me!

Friday, June 24, 2011

CD 50

Well, it happened again. The crosshairs that indicated ovulation disappeared due to my temps. I'm ready to give up!! I could have sworn I ovulated this time, but I thought maybe yesterday I did, not last week, so maybe I will get a spike tomorrow or the next day. The games my body is playing are wearing me down.

CD 50:

BBT: 36.09 C
CM: Possibly EW
CP: Medium, slightly open

CD 49: 36.09 C

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

CD 48 ~ 5 DPO

My temperature was down a bit today, but I didn't have much restful sleep, so I'm not too worried about it. Ovulation is still showing on my chart, so we'll see how it goes the rest of the week.

SD2 came over today! He texted me right before I left work, so it worked out well. I doubt there was much point to it, but it certainly can't hurt!

CD 48:

BBT: 36.09 C

5 DPO Symptoms:
  • Fatigue (probably the lack of sleep)
  • Stressed/anxious
  • Bloated big time
  • Increased sex drive
  • Sensitive nipples
  • Headache

CD 47 ~ 4 DPO

I don't have a lot to report this week. I haven't been getting accurate temperatures thanks to my little kitty who likes to wake me up 2 hours before my regular temp-time. Thanks babe. I still put in temps when I get them, and put the correct time so that I can keep track, and after I did that today, my chart pinpointed ovulation on CD 43! I don't believe it, because my temps are unreliable, but I'll play along for now. So this puts me at 4 DPO, but unfortunately I haven't been keeping track of symptoms, or checking my cervix. I would start checking it, but my sex drive has been through the roof lately (which is what made me suspect ovulation in the first place) and it affects the position of the cervix, making it pointless to check.

I emailed SD2 asking him to come over this week and next week to increase my chances before my vacation, but he isn't sure if it's feasible. It won't matter if I've already ovulated, but just in case, I'd like to try. We only got together that one day last week, which was great timing at two days before ovulation, but doesn't give me much hope. We will see though.

CD 47:

BBT: 36.22 C

CD 45:

BBT: 36.42 C--Late

CD 44:

BBT: 36.23 C--Early

CD 43:

BBT: 36.06 C--Early

CD 42:

BBT: 36.09 C--Early

0 DPO ~ 4 DPO Symptoms:
  • Bleeding gums
  • Increased sex drive
  • Irritability/moodiness
  • Skin breakout
  • Headache
  • Fatigue (Slept until 4:00 PM two days ago)
  • Prominent veins
  • Bloating
  • Montgomery Tubercles

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

CD 41

Over the last few days I have been checking my cervix and taking my temperature sporadically, nothing interesting to report there, but a couple days ago I realized my sex drive was through the roof. I went to a party on the weekend and it was difficult to behave myself!! I took an OPK the next day, and it looked either positive, or extremely close to becoming positive. I freaked out and emailed SD2, but unfortunately he couldn't get together until today.

I took another OPK yesterday (less than 24 hours after the previous test), and it was quite negative. I'm not sure what that means; it could be that I missed my surge, or it was another fake ovulation, or my urine wasn't concentrated enough.

Either way, SD2 came over today just in case.

I am hoping to have a temp spike tomorrow or the next day to confirm ovulation. If not, I will buy more tests and keep watching for ovulation.

CD 41:

BBT: 35.88 C

CD 40:

BBT: 35.95 C
CM: EWCM!!

Not many symptoms for now, I will update soon.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

CD 35

It seems I didn't ovulate. Not sure if I will, or if my period is coming, or if it will be a 3 month cycle. Not in the mood to type more.

I haven't been taking my temperature much lately, but I did today.

CD 35:

BBT: 36.15 C
CM: Creamy, not as much as last week
CP: Medium-high, soft, closed

Recent Symptoms:
  • Headache
  • Fatigue
  • Spurts of energy
  • Large areolas
  • Prominent veins
  • Montgomery's Tubercles
  • Rash on my chin/neck
  • Acne
  • Spotting
  • Nausea
  • Stress
  • Emotional
  • Thirsty
  • Taste of phlegm
  • Sore breasts
  • Dizziness
  • Bloating
  • Decreased appetite

Sunday, May 29, 2011

CD 25 ~ 11 DPO

I don't think I will have good news at the end of this week. I feel pregnant, but my body is setting itself up for my next period.

I slept through my alarm today, so I didn't get my temperature, but it has been low for days.

My cervix has been up, down, open, closed, and I had a spot today. It barely counts as a spot, really, but I saw it, and don't know if it was pink (okay) or red (the devil.)

My breasts have changed a lot too: From pale to darker, normal to puffy, pale to veiny; and then the other way. I also have veins on the sides of my stomach.

I'm not "out" of the running until I get my period, but I'm expecting it to come any day. I took a test yesterday, couldn't wait, and it was negative. Not surprised at all, even if I am pregnant I may not show it yet.

CD 25:

CM: Creamy, water, eggwhite
CP: High, closed

CD 24:

BBT: 36.15 C
CM: Creamy
CP: Low, open

CD 23:

BBT: 36.12 C
CM: Creamy
CP: High, closed

9-11 DPO Symptoms:
  • Prominent veins
  • Montgomery Tubercles
  • Puffy areolas
  • Emotional
  • Tired
  • Hot
  • Spotting

Thursday, May 26, 2011

CD 22 ~ 8 DPO

Man! I totally spaced last night and forgot to post! Whoops. So I am at 8 DPO, and my hope has fluctuated all day.

Yesterday I had a huge temp dip, which I was hoping meant implantation, but today it went even lower. This may be because I didn't sleep through the night, I woke up early, and couldn't sleep much after that. Or, it could be my period on its way.

Checking my cervix is also accounting for my mixed feelings. I thought my cervix should stay high and closed, but mine has lowered and feels slightly open. That coupled with my temps have me very discouraged. After reading some good ole Google, I feel a little better. Apparently the cervix can take a while to rise and close tightly, because it isn't aware of pregnancy this early. I am hoping this is the case!

CD 22:

BBT: 36.15 C
CM: Still very creamy
CP: Low, slightly open

CD 21:

BBT: 36.22
CM: Creamy
CP: Medium, slightly open

7-8 DPO Symptoms:
  • Temp dips
  • Sore throat
  • Aches/chills
  • Creamy cm
  • Bleeding gums
  • Fatigue
  • Low, slightly open cervix
  • Stuffy/runny nose
  • Nausea
Praying for a high temperature tomorrow!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

CD 20 ~ 6DPO

I am 6 days past ovulation, which is twice as long as my luteal phase lasted in March! Yay for vitamin B6!

My temperature was down today, which is frustrating because it is up and down, it never stays up for more than one day at a time. I looked up some erratic charts, though, and it may not be a big deal, I just have to wait it out.

There was no spotting today! That is great news. Also, I have been feeling a tugging-like sensation just above my pelvic bone, which seems a little high for implantation as the uterus is behind the pelvic bone, but we will see.

I am very excited to make it to 7 DPO!

CD 20:

BBT: 36.48 C
CM: Creamy
CP: High, closed, soft

6 DPO Symptoms:
  • Tugging in abdomen
  • Major nausea
  • Temp dip
  • Fatigue
  • Achy feeling
  • Sleeplessness
  • Lower back pain

Monday, May 23, 2011

CD 19 ~ 5 DPO

My temperature was back up today, hooray! Things are looking good so far, I am now on day 5 after ovulation, which is an improvement from my 3 day luteal phase in March, so I know vitamin b6 is working.

I have been feeling little things down low all day, I'm hoping it's coming from my uterus, I know "twinges" are common around 5 dpo.

When I checked my cervix a little while ago, all felt wonderful; it is full of creamy cm, it is closed, and it is high still. After I checked, though, there was a little bit of pink. I'm hoping it was from poking around in there (oops!) or possible implantation coming. I'm really worried my period is getting ready, and I know I said I would be okay with it taking a couple cycles of soy, but I don't think I would handle it all that well.

For now, I will just take it day by day, or hour by hour. I will take my temp in the morning and hope it is up, but even if it dips, that would go with spotting.

My breasts do not hurt, they've been okay since ovulation, but they're pretty sensitive, and the veins are a-poppin! Taking it all as good signs until I know otherwise.

Come on baby, implant!

CD 19:

BBT: 36.87 C
CM: Creamy, slight pink
CP: Medium-High, closed, soft

5 DPO Symptoms:
  • Temp spike
  • Prominent veins in breasts
  • Sensitive nipples
  • Twinges
  • Slight pink spotting
  • Tons of mucus
  • Tired
  • Headache
  • Vivid dreams

Sunday, May 22, 2011

CD 18 ~ 4 DPO

With the thermal shift I got goin on, there's no way I didn't ovulate! *happy dance* My temp did dip down pretty low today, but that is normal, and as long as it spikes tomorrow I am good to go!

I'm still very sick, so I don't feel too great in general, but today I did feel nauseous. I looked it up, being so early in my 2WW I wanted to see if it was significant, and apparently one can feel nausea post-ovulation due to progesterone levels! So this to me is good news, it means my progesterone is doing okay so far! Good job Vitamin B6! oh.. and you too uterus, neato.

Last night I was a little worried, my cm seemed to change from creamy/lotiony to egg-white. What are you doing here now??? Go away. My cervix also felt different. Hmmph. But today, I am back to producing tons of the lotion, and my cervix is closed. Hooray!

CD 18:

BBT: 36.35 C
CM: Creamy/lotiony
CP: Medium, closed

4 DPO Symptoms:
  • Fatigue
  • Gas
  • Diarrhea (not as much now)
  • Nausea
  • Larger areola
  • Montgomery's tubercules
  • Prominent veins in breasts

Saturday, May 21, 2011

CD 17 ~ 3 DPO

I ovulated!!! I think. I'm pretty sure I did! Maybe.

I've been taking OPK's for over a week, to make sure I caught it, and had a nice fade-in like I did in March, but then it faded out again. On CD 13 I had one that was almost positive, and then after that they became very faint again. I'm wondering if I missed the surge.

Anyhow, I met with SD on CD's 9 and 13, which is excellent timing if I ovulated CD 14! I'm very hopeful!

After SD left, I started feeling kind of rough.. my throat hurt. Since then it has progressed to an I-wanna-die head cold. So I am REALLY hoping I ovulated already, because I've been to sick to "try" the last few days.

Now that I am in the two week wait, I will start listing symptoms :)

CD 17:

BBT: 37.11 C
CM: Very creamy
CP: High, closed

3 DPO Symptoms:
  • Fatigue
  • Diarrhea
  • Temp spike
  • Closed cervix
CD 16:

BBT: 36.64 C
CM: Very creamy
CP: High, closed

2 DPO Symptoms:
  • Major creamy CM
  • Diarrhea/gas
  • Frequent urination
  • Closed cervix
CD 15:

BBT: 37.19 C
CM: Started out dry, became creamy

1 DPO Symptoms:
  • Incredible temp spike of 1.10 degrees Celsius (1.98 Fahrenheit, when only .4 Fahrenheit is needed for an actual post-o spike)
  • Cervix started out dry, then produced creamy CM
  • High, closed cervix
CD 14:

BBT: 36.09 C
CM: Creamy

Monday, May 9, 2011

CD5~Quick Update

It has been a month since I last blogged, so I thought I would pop in and update this ole thang.. As you can see from my title, I am on cycle day 5, which is amazing considering I was at the beginning of a cycle just a month ago. I went on birth control for that cycle to ensure my period would come, and voila! It worked.

The idea was that after this period I would try Clomid, and then try to conceive. The person who gave me so much hope and lifted my spirits so high I could see clouds then stole my happiness back and I came crashing back down to earth. The Clomid never arrived, and this wolf in sheep's clothing started giving me the silent treatment. I have no idea why she went back on her word, and I have been through all the emotions; anger, hurt, sadness, and now I am just numb.

However, through all this pain, my best TTC buddy was there for me, and she sent me some magic pills! The magic is actually derived from soy, and the pills are Soy Isoflavones, which is "Nature's Clomid." What it does for the body is tricks it into thinking no estrogen has been produced at the beginning of a cycle, which forces the body to create twice the regular amount, bringing ovulation and mature or doubled eggs. I am very excited! She's such a star!

I started taking the Soy on CD3, and will continue until CD7. I then must wait a couple days and start testing for ovulation. I am hoping that by this time next week I will be creating my new life!

The following is a list of the things in my TTC arsenal:

  1. Prenatal vitamins
  2. Folic acid
  3. Basal body thermometer
  4. Vitamin B6
  5. Fertilitea
  6. Soy Isoflavones
  7. Ovulation Predictor Kits
Some other great news in the baby world: Rose had her little girl! She is almost one month old already, and I hope to meet her this week.
I will update later in the month! ~baby dust~

Saturday, April 2, 2011

CD1?

I don't know what is happening with me at all.. even less than I knew a week ago. Let's see:
  • A week ago I started seeing a faint line on OPK tests
  • I got the flu
  • My temp spiked, due to flu or ovulation, who knows
  • Got a positive OPK
  • Attempted to conceive
  • Temp dropped and OPK went back to negative
  • Started spotting
  • Spotting turned to bleeding
My one-day fallback rise turned into two days, and the bleeding has ranged from bright red to light red to brown, and has increased. I can't really call it spotting at this point, yet its not heavy like my periods are, but I'm pretty sure the bright red means there is no chance of pregnancy. It is too early for implantation, yet my cervix is high and soft when it should be low and firm if I am menstruating. It is also closed, which is strange. I have no cramps, which is unusual for me, as well is no bloating. Color me confused!

I don't know what to do from here, I am taking it one day at a time, but I think I'll take a break from trying to conceive.

However, someone I met online through my struggle reached out to me, and she suggested a way for me to regulate my cycles. I won't go into it right now, as I haven't decided yet what to do, but this week I will be going on the pill to keep this cycle short. I'm not sure if I will be blogging at all this month, but I will check in for sure when I've made a decision.

CD 1:

BBT: 36.2 C
CP: High, soft, closed, wet.

CD 99:

BBT: 35.95 C
CP: High, soft

3 DPO Symptoms:
  • Spotting
  • Fatigue
  • Headache
  • High cervix

Friday, April 1, 2011

CD 98 2 dpo

My temperature dropped today. It went down by more than .2 degrees Celsius, and had me worried and sad. I was distracted at work so I looked online, and it is actually called a fallback rise, which is common and nothing to worry about. As long as my temperature rises again tomorrow, I'll be okay.

Another worry I have is spotting. I have been spotting since yesterday, and it is just like what happens to me the week before my period, so it is bothering me. I don't know what to make of it, I am just hoping it'll stop.

All this stuff is too stressful for me!! I really do think this is my last cycle trying to conceive, at least for a while. I don't think I can keep trying without the knowledge that my uterus is healthy. I don't think I should be spotting so much if I am fertile.

CD 98:

BBT: 36.33 C
CM: Creamy, streaked with blood
CP: High, soft, wet

2 DPO Symptoms:
  • Fatigue
  • Slight backache
  • Cramping
  • Spotting
  • Dizziness
  • Nauseous
  • Gassy
  • Emotional

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

CD 97 1 dpo

Yeah! That's 1 d.p.o.!! I took my temperature this morning and it was 0.594 degrees Fahrenheit higher than yesterday! We have ourselves a spike-yay! So it is safe to assume I ovulated yesterday, until proven otherwise.

I feel like total crap! I think it's the after effects of the flu, I have been in pain all day with indigestion and gas (ew, I know.) It is possible that it is due to ovulation, though, but I really think it's just because I was sick.

I had some spotting today, which worried me, but I read online that sometimes ovulation spotting can occur after the actual ovulation day, and because I always spot before my period, I figure it's okay.

Hoping for another spike tomorrow!

CD 97:

BBT: 36.59 C
CM: Sticky
CP: Low, closed

1 DPO Symptoms:
  • Temp spike
  • Nausea
  • Indigestion/gas
  • Red spotting
  • Closed cervix
  • Fatigue

CD 96

After taking my temperature this morning and putting the information into my chart online, it told me I ovulated three days ago. Not cool! I added some more info, like the fact that I think it was fever that elevated my temp and that I had two positive OPK's, and it started to reassess. It doesn't detect ovulation at all now, which is good, and after I take my temp for a couple days I am hopeful it will pinpoint ovulation either yesterday or today.

I took a couple OPK's today, and both were negative, a bit fainter than yesterday's. I will keep taking the tests every day until the line disappears, to make sure I don't get another surge.

It seems after reading online that "1 d.p.o." will be the day I get the first temperature spike, which hopefully will be tomorrow. But I will start charting symptoms now so I can keep track.

CD 96:

BBT: 36.26 C
CP: Medium, open, wet

Symptoms:

  • Nausea (probably due to flu)
  • Feeling of fullness in uterus
  • Decreased appetite (again, probably flu)
  • Twinges on right

Monday, March 28, 2011

CD 95

Guess who is ovulating?! ME! I was in complete shock when I saw the faintest line on my OPK, something I'd never seen before. It wasn't positive, as the test line needs to be at least as dark as the control line, but I knew that meant it was coming. The next couple days the lines darkened, which was so unbelievable to me!

Then I got the flu. Well, Montana got it first, and then I did within an hour, and so did Tristan. It was debilitating, and I was devastated. I haven't had the flu in years, and then it hits me right when I ovulate and have the tiniest window of fertility?? Not fair.

Yesterday I am sure my OPK was positive, I took it between vomit sessions, and I texted SD2 a few times until he finally got back to me--he wasn't expecting to hear from me so soon. Well, neither was I! These tests were a complete surprise to me, and I'm just glad I took a chance and peed on a stick!

I stayed in bed for almost 24 hours, and this morning I felt better. I took another test, and the line was pretty faint. I worried it may have been too early in the day, so I tested again a few hours later and it was positive. So I had two positives in a row, I read one wrong, or I'm having a long surge.

Also, my temperatures have skyrocketed. I think it's too soon for it to be attributed to ovulation, I think it's the flu, so this is making my charts very difficult to read.

I wanted to take advantage of the window I have/had, so after talking to SD2, I had him come over. We signed the contracts, and now I'm praying as hard as possible. I'm not sure when I'll officially be in the Two Week Wait, I'll have to see what my temp does tomorrow. Fingers crossed!!

CD 95:

BBT: 36.77 C
CM: Watery, egg-white
CP: High, wet

CD 94:

BBT: 36.54 C
CM: Egg-white

CD 93:

BBT: 35.95 C
CM: Egg-white

CD 92:

BBT: 35.81 C
CM: Creamy

Friday, March 25, 2011

CD 91

This has been a roller coaster week for me. I was very, very down, as low as I could get, dealing with the news from the doctor. I talked to Rose last night and talked it out with her, which upset me but also made me feel better talking it out. She is so close to the end, it's very exciting! There are just a couple weeks until she is officially due, and I cannot wait.

My temperatures have been pretty steady, not really anything to report with that. The reason I am blogging today is because I finally met SD2 tonight! We went for coffee, and wow, he is perfect. I am more attracted to him than I expected, which is a good thing and a bad thing, but it can work for me. The plan now is to get together when possible, and if I have a positive OPK we'll increase the visits. I am taking it one day at a time, because if I get my period I'm not sure what I will do afterward. Right now, I am hoping for a miracle, and suspecting I will enjoy the next few weeks.

CD 91:

35.99 C

CD 90:

35.99 C

CD 89:

36.05 C

CD 88:

35.75 C

CD 87:

36.24 C

CD 86:

35.97 C

CD 85:

35.95 C

CD 84:

36.09 C

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

CD 82

FRUSTRATION!!!

I am feeling a bit of frustration. Okay I am feeling A LOT of frustration. It has been six weeks since I first went to the doctor about PCOS and had blood drawn. I am no closer to knowing what is wrong with me or fixing it.

I had an appointment scheduled for last week, and my doctor's receptionist who shall from this day forth be known as Deskbitch, called to cancel the appointment and reschedule for this week. Dr. J. had knee surgery and was on bed rest. I was understanding and sympathetic, but I did ask if there was a substitute, but she said no.

Today, two days before my appointment, Deskbitch called to cancel again, because Dr. J. had to go in for more surgery. I was advised to call at the end of the week to see if it was possible to reschedule. I asked her if I could have my results given to me over the phone by either her or Dr. J., and she got short with me. I decided to call the local clinic, where there is a wonderful doctor who I have seen several times when my own doctor's office was closed, to see if I could have him get my results and meet with me. I was told to call Dr. J.'s office and ask to have the results faxed to the clinic.

Making that call put Deskbitch over the edge, which had the domino effect on me. She became irate with me, and I became upset. She yelled at me, talked to me like I was stupid, and wouldn't help me at all. Once I called the clinic again, I had it all sorted out: Tomorrow I will go see Dr. D. at the clinic, and he will have my blood results faxed to him. The ultrasound results will take a couple weeks, but I will have him request them anyway in case I can't see Dr. J. At this point I don't even want to see her, especially if Deskbitch will be there. I am in the process of complaining about Deskbitch, and won't rest until she is reprimanded.

So for now, the plan is to see Dr. D., get a copy of my test results for SD2, and start trying to conceive again. Then once my ultrasound results are in, I will find out about PCOS and what, if anything, needs to be taken care of. Right now my main concern is trying to conceive before I get my next period, which could be anytime.

CD82:

36.06 C

CD80:

36.28 C

CD79:

36.08 C

CD77:

36.17 C

CD76:

35.99 C

CD73:

35.99 C

CD72:

36.38 C

CD70:

36.02 C

CD69:

36.09 C

CD68:

36.09 C

Monday, February 28, 2011

CD 67

The longer my cycle drags on, the less I feel like blogging. It feels like things don't change, it is just a record of my temperatures each morning, which fluctuate too much to have meaning. Unfortunately, now I wish I had blogged more this month, because now I can't say how I felt each day.

A couple weeks ago, my online cycle tracker suspected ovulation. Say wha??? I was rather confused and less than mildly impressed. I had skipped a day or two of temping, so it took what I had entered and called it ovulation. Not cool. After a few more days, it basically said "Oops, my bad," and took back the ovulation. So now I'm back to just regular Cycle Day 67, rather than Days Past Ovulation. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing I still had a chance this cycle.

Now, the reason I came to blog: Today was my big ultrasound! It took almost a month, but I had my appointment at the hospital this morning. There isn't much to tell yet, it'll take a few days to get any results. It was harder than I expected, though. I hadn't realized just how tightly I had been clinging to ridiculous hope. You know, I'd be laying there, and the technician would say "I know you are here to figure out why you have such long cycles, but that'll have to wait because you're pregnant! Look at the heartbeat!" Yeah, that hope.

She didn't tell me there was a baby, that was just a dream. She asked me when my last period was, and I told her, and said that was why I was having an ultrasound done, because my cycles are not regular. She measured what I assume were the uterine walls, and after a few minutes I was all done.

So now it is just a waiting game. I will phone in a couple days to make an appointment for next week, and then I will know what the next step is. Luckily I am estimating it'll take another month to ovulate, which gives me plenty of time to get results, make a plan, meet SD2, and start trying! Very exciting.

I need to list my temps now (only temps--I haven't been checking my cervix regularly), and it will probably get long, it just just for my records.

CD 67:

35.85 C

CD 66:

36.07 C

CD 65:

36.22 C

CD 62:

36.09 C

CD 60:

35.86 C

CD 59:

35.35 C

CD 57:

35.86 C

CD 56:

36.15 C

CD 55:

36.02 C

CD 54:

36.20 C

CD 53:

35.96 C

CD 52:

36.02 C

CD 51:

35.99 C

CD 50:

36.21 C

Thursday, February 10, 2011

CD 48

Haven't had much reason to blog the past few days, except for my temperatures. They are still fluctuating, which apparently is typical before ovulation, and my cervix hasn't changed much over the last week or so.

I haven't heard from the doctor's office yet, and it has been one week today, so I'm going to phone tomorrow and find out about getting an appointment for my ultrasound. I'm hoping in the next few days they'll know more about my blood-work.

I'm about halfway through my cycle, I think, so another three weeks or so I should be ovulating. At least, that's my guess.

I haven't gotten my package of tests yet, which is starting to worry me. I'm going to have to email them and ask for it to be tracked. This is why I've never been a fan of online shopping.

CD 48:

BBT: 36.17 C
CM: Creamy
CP: Medium

CD 47:

BBT: 35.96 C
CM: Creamy

CD 46:

BBT: 35.75 C

CD 45:

BBT: 36.09 C

Sunday, February 6, 2011

CD 44

Yesterday morning I was more concerned with Montana's temperature than my own, so I forgot to grab the thermometer as soon as I woke up. I did take it this morning, though, and it's still hovering around the same degree. Nothing too interesting happening with my body.

I am rather annoyed with television, though. I am watching King of Queens, and the main character tells her husband "I don't feel well." Predictably, she gets a positive on her home pregnancy test less than three minutes later. In TV land, women don't get stomach aches. It isn't from food, as the KoQ wife confirmed, it is always a "different" kind of malady. It is always just that easy for fake pregnancies: One sexual encounter where protection is forgotten, a brief stomach ache or fainting episode, and bam! Pregnancy.

These kinds of Hollywood idiosyncrasies have always bothered me, and sparked an entry on my Lighter Side of Life blog months ago, but the pregnancy one really irked me for obvious reasons. Vent over, though! Hopefully in the next few weeks I will have a distinct stomach ache followed by a quick result on a stick, and a lovely joyful pregnancy!

BBT: 36.02 C
CM: Creamy
CP: Medium

Friday, February 4, 2011

CD 42

Not much to report today, dealing with a sick child still so I have been home all week. My temperatures are still up and down, not sure when ovulation is going to come around, but hopefully not until I'm able to try conceiving! God help me, I looked at strollers and crib sets last night. Darn hope is sneaking in again!

BBT: 35.83 C
CM: Scant, creamy
CP: Medium-low, slightly open

Thursday, February 3, 2011

CD 41

I have a little more to report today! Seems this blog has been a bit of a bore lately with just stats, but the ttc world isn't always full of excitement!

I went to the doctor today to get some tests done to show SD2 my clean bill of health, as it were, so we can start trying together. Dr J. is on vacation, so I saw a Dr. K., who was a lot more thorough than I was even praying for! She checked my cervix and says it looks good, (yay!) sent me for blood-work, and is setting up an appointment for an ultrasound!

I explained my situation to her, to which she congratulated me (wow!), and told her why I suspect PCOS. She agrees that it sounds reasonable, and is checking my blood for hormonal issues, thyroid again, sugar levels, and who knows what else, along with HIV and the like.

Dr. K. told me I can phone in and ask about the results in a week or two, and they will let me know about my ultrasound.

I actually feel like I'm getting somewhere, I hope it helps me!!

BBT: 36.02 C

Didn't check my CM or CP because the doctor was messing around in there and I don't think it would be accurate. I will check tomorrow.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

CD 40

Not much to report today. Montana is sick, so this is a quick post.

BBT: 35.92 C
CM: Watery, creamy
CP: Medium, slightly open

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

CD 39

I haven't felt like blogging the past few days, and I still don't, but I did want to come here and chart my temperatures so I don't get too far behind. I have taken two tests in the past four days, both negative. I have to accept that I did not ovulate, nor did I successfully conceive. I have a doctor's appointment in a couple days, where I will be tested for different things, so that I can then meet SD2. I am going to also talk to the doctor (who is not my own--she is on vacation) about Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I do have a few symptoms, mainly irregularly long cycles and spotting, which has started today. It seems a bit early for me to have any kind of flow, so we will see what the doctor says.

CD 39:

BBT: 35.83 C
CM: Creamy, spotting
CP: Medium, wet, closed

CD 38:

BBT: 36.14 C
CM: Creamy
CP: Medium, wet, closed

CD 37:

BBT: 35.99 C
CM: Creamy
CP: High, wet, closed

CD 36:

BBT: 36.02 C

CD 35:

BBT: 36.15 C

CD 34:

BBT: 35.83 C

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

9 DPO

My temp was slightly elevated today! I woke early, at 6:45 rather than 8:00, so I took my temperature right away, and it was only 36.06 C, but I used this awesome temperature corrector site, which estimates what my temp would have been if I'd temped at the normal time. It figured 36.2, which is quite a nice jump! Hoping for even higher tomorrow.

Not much changed today, although I was pretty tired. I fell asleep after dinner for an hour, and it was extremely difficult to wake up enough to tuck Montana into bed. I am going to bed in a few minutes, which is early for me.

No other symptoms have popped up, the MT's have been playing peek-a-boo with me all day. I had a bit of heartburn when I went to bed last night, that is unusual. Hoping for more symptoms tomorrow!

BBT: 36.06 C
CM: Creamy, sticky
CP: Very high, closed

Symptoms:

  • Tired
  • Heartburn
  • Slight nausea
  • Prominent veins

Monday, January 24, 2011

8 DPO

No spike today. My temperature went down. Not enough to really worry me, but enough to make me scared to take tomorrow's temp.

I've been crampy again today, but no spotting! That is definitely good news. Usually when I spot, it lasts a few days.

Earlier tonight I noticed Montgomery's Tubercles on my areolas, they were white and plentiful, which was the first time since before my last period. It fits in with the symptoms timetable, but of course, I am doubtful.

Now that I am into the second week since my possible ovulation, I'll start adding symptoms.

BBT: 36.01 C
CM: Increasing, very wet, creamy
CP: High, firm, wet

Symptoms:

  • Cramping
  • Tired
  • Montgomery's Tubercles
  • Soreness by my cervix
  • Increased mucus
  • Headache
  • Bloating
  • Increased urination

Sunday, January 23, 2011

7 DPO

Yesterday I was too depressed to write anything ovulation or pregnancy related. My temperature was down, my cervix felt slightly open, and I was doubting ovulation altogether.

Today my temp was up a bit, back to where it was during the week, which can basically mean anything. I've had a bit of cramping and discomfort for a day or so, which can also mean anything.

However, I checked my mucus a couple hours ago, and found a blob of yellowish mucus streaked with light-pink blood! I hate to get my hopes up after all I've been through, especially since I spotted so much in December, but this at least means I'm not out! Hoping for a spike tomorrow morning.

7 DPO:

BBT: 36.15 C
CM: Creamy, blood-streaked
CP: High, closed

6 DPO:

BBT: 35.73 C
CM: Creamy
CP: Medium, slightly open

Friday, January 21, 2011

5 DPO

Today was a roller coaster of emotional bull-poop. My temperature was up, which is good, but between fertility friend and other girls who are trying to conceive, I'm getting the idea I didn't ovulate. I was like this happy, light, hopeful balloon just floating along, and an unexpected pin poked a hole in it. I deflated in a matter of minutes, and could barely contain the tears before Montana went to bed. I feel hopeless again, like I did last cycle. I'm ready to beg the doctor for a hysterectomy so I can forget all this sadness and want.

I talked online to a girl who is part of this new board I'm on, and she definitely cheered me up. How I survived without this kind of message board before is beyond me.

I just checked my cervix, and it is definitely closed, which it wasn't on the weekend. It's also very wet, not too soft now, so I'm still possibly 5 DPO.

My mucus has increased, my breasts are the same, and my back is achy. Very similar to my last cycle, before I got my period.

I don't want to give myself hope, but I don't want to give up hope either.

BBT: 36.10 C
CM: Creamy
CP: High, firmer, closed, wet.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

4 DPO

I've decided to assume I ovulated on the weekend, which puts me at four days past ovulation. My body is doing exactly what it should be at this point in my cycle, and my temperatures also seem to be reflecting it. So until I know otherwise, my blogs are now in relation to how many days past ovulation I am.

One hour ago my mom's best friend's daughter finally had her baby girl by Cesarean section, after a day and a half of slow moving labor. She was nine pounds, so I am glad it is over for her now.

This morning I took my temperature at 8:00, as always, but before the minute was up revealing my newest BBT, I zonked out. We all slept in. When I woke up and noticed my thermometer hanging out of my mouth, I checked it, but it didn't save the temperature, so I retook it just to see what it would say. It was exactly the same as yesterday. I took the kids to school at recess, and then came back home because working for only two hours is not worth it. When I got home, I went straight to bed so that I could take my temperature again after three hours of sleep. I know the temperature isn't accurate because it wasn't first thing in the morning, but I wanted to have something on my chart. My temperature at 2:30 was slightly higher, which gives me a little hope.

I was exhausted last night and today, and I'm still tired. I should be in bed! When will I learn?

My mucus is increasing, and my cervix is hard to reach. I'm not sure if this is to be expected after ovulation, but I believe it is at some point.

My breasts are changing again, much like last month: The areolas are very large, as spread out as they can possible get. They are puffy and soft, my nipples are very sensitive, and as of a couple hours ago, my veins are sticking out! They have been noticeable for a few days, but now they are popping out of my skin. Another good sign for post-ovulation!

BBT 8:30 AM ~ 36.02 C
2:30 PM ~ 36.14 C
CM: Creamy
CP: Super high, wet, closed

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

CD 26

Well, my temperature dropped a bit this morning. This isn't necessarily a confirmation that ovulation did not yet occur, but it did leave me a bit sad. After looking at some charts, I've seen that it is possible to have a dip just a couple days after ovulating, so if it's back up tomorrow I will feel much better.

My mucus has increased ever so slightly, just this evening. I have had a very dry feeling, but my cervix feels a bit wet, although low, and I now have a bit of creamy cm near it. My cervix is softer than it was yesterday, and still feels closed. I am not sure what this means, if anything, but I will keep hoping for a spike in my temperature.

Mom's best friend's daughter is in labor right now, delivering her first baby. I am very excited to hear of the birth.

I will have more news tomorrow! Hopefully it will include high temperatures!

BBT: 36.02 C
CM: Dry, creamy
CP: Low, soft, closed

**I continued researching after writing this blog, and found some helpful and hopeful news!!**

Here is the short and basic version of how the basal body temperature relates to a cycle:

During the first half of a normal cycle, temperatures will rise and fall, but not by much. Right before ovulation, the body produces estrogen to help rebuild the uterine lining, which causes the temperature to drop. After ovulation, progesterone is produced to assist in building the lining so it will be able to hold the embryo. This causes the temperature to spike, and if conception as occurred, the temperature will remain high.

After reading this, I felt a weight of disappointment lift from my heart. I have low progesterone. I now believe there is a connection between my low hormone and my low temperatures. This may explain why I had a dip, and why my temps are generally low! So there is still a chance that I did ovulate 3 days ago, but my progesterone isn't elevating my temperatures!! This is great news in the sense that ovulation probably occurred, but potentially bad news in the sense that if my progesterone is indeed too low, I won't be able to hold an embryo. One step at a time, though!

Monday, January 17, 2011

CD 25

My temperature rose ever so slightly today! Not sure if it's anything to get excited about, but at least it isn't something to get depressed about either. My cervix is definitely lower than it was over the weekend, and there has been a noticeable decrease in mucus, which is also a good sign. My nipples and areolas are puffy and soft, which happened last month, a couple weeks before my period showed, so it also seems to suggest ovulation. Trying not to get my hopes up, just noting changes as they come.

BBT: 36.25 C
CM: Dry, sticky
CP: Medium-high, closed

CD 24

When I woke up this morning, my temperature didn't seem very high, and I was a bit discouraged. Luckily it's Sunday so I went right back to sleep! Once I entered the temp into my chart, it did look like a spike; I read online that a 'spike' is 0.40 degrees Fahrenheit or more higher, and mine is 0.65 degrees higher. It'll take a couple days to know for sure, but I am hoping this means I ovulated yesterday. My mucus is different today, not much egg white, more sticky dryness. This supposedly happens after ovulation, but it seems a bit soon if I did indeed O yesterday. I'm also having a bit of cramping, which is unusual for me. Bleeding has stopped, though, thankfully! Much confusion, but signs are good. I have a hard time allowing any kind of hope into my line of vision, so I will just have to let time tell.

BBT: 36.21 C
CM: Drier, sticky
CP: High, soft, seems to be closed

Sunday, January 16, 2011

CD 23

I got some incredible news today: Rose had an ultrasound and was told she is having a girl!! I was so happy I had to open my bedroom door and yell it to the rest of the house. She has wanted a little girl ever since she herself (and I) was a little girl. This is great news for her, I couldn't be happier.

I took my temperature this morning and was dismayed to see that it was lower, not higher, than normal. I don't think I slept right through the night though, so it's possible that it wasn't accurate. I am hoping for a spike tomorrow morning.

I also checked my cervix, as I usually do each day, and it was very high! I am excited about this, because it gives me hope that I am ovulating. When I checked the mucus, it seemed a bit closer to the egg-white likeness than it has been the last few days. I noticed a bit of blood in the mucus, which is also a good sign, but while checking the position again, there was quite a bit of red blood. I am confused with this. It could be a sign of ovulation, or perhaps I scratched myself. Either way, I will keep an eye on it, and update tomorrow.

BBT: 35.85 C
CM: EW, flecks of blood
CP: High, turned, wet.

Friday, January 14, 2011

CD 22

I fell asleep in Montana's room last night, so this morning I didn't get a temperature reading this morning, nor did I check my mucus last night. I did attempt to conceive today though! I conceived Montana a decade ago this weekend, so I thought I would try my luck again. My cervical mucus is creamy, possibly on the egg white side, which points to ovulation or at least pre ovulation. I have little hope that I was successful today, but I will keep my eyes open for a temperature spike this weekend!

CD 21:

BBT: 36.01 C

CD 22:

CM: Creamy, watery, stretchy.
CP: High, medium-soft, wet

Thursday, January 13, 2011

CD 20

Nothing new to report, just here to record my daily info :)

BBT: 36.15 C
CM: Watery, sticky
CP: High, hard, wet

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

CD 19

Quick blog tonight, I'm rather tired. I drank a large iced green tea this morning, and just finished a mug of hot green tea, so I think I'm doing well! I contacted SD1, and he is willing (and eager?) to try this weekend, regardless of ovulation.

BBT: 35.95 C
CM: Creamy, watery
CP: High, hard, wet

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

CD 18

My body is hinting at ovulation! I think it's playing mind (uterus?) games with me, I hardly trust it, but I have decided that I will try to conceive this weekend. It will be the 10th anniversary of my daughter's conception, so I am hoping to tempt fate.

I have decided to try drinking green tea for it's health benefits, and hope that it aids in fertility like I have heard. I had a cup of tea tonight, and I actually finished it! I am not at all a tea drinker, so I am proud of myself!

BBT: 36.19 C
CM: Watery, creamy
CP: High, softish, wet

Monday, January 10, 2011

CD 17

Oops! I forgot to post my first temperature yesterday! So today I will post both yesterday's and today's.

Aside from that, there is nothing new to report, except I am considering trying Pre-Seed, but I am looking into it first.

CD 16:

BBT: 36.05 C
CM: Creamy
CP: High, soft.

CD 17:

BBT: 36.25 C
CM: Sticky
CP: High, hard, wet.

Friday, January 7, 2011

CD 15

Okay it has been two weeks since I blogged, I hadn't realized that. I was in a fog for a while there, didn't pay much attention to my hunt. I was also busy with Christmas, which was fantastic, and New Years Eve, which was also great. I was hoping Boy Toy would be at the party I went to on NYE, but he wasn't. I wouldn't have been ovulating yet anyhow, I just wanted to try, at least for fun!

I have been emailing SD2 the last couple weeks to let him know I had my period, and would start charting, and let him know if anything changes.

I have also been checking my cervix and mucous, but not regularly, which I will start doing now every night.

Also, I have very exciting news (for me!): I found a basal body thermometer!! I am very happy about this! I've looked for weeks in every store and pharmacy. So starting tomorrow when I wake up, I will be able to chart my temperatures and look for signs of ovulation! Normal people would be ovulating around now, but more than likely I have another month or so. It is very discouraging, but now that I know I can chart my temps, I am staying optimistic.

I will start blogging every day to keep track of my temperatures, starting tomorrow.