I am just a few days away from my next period, if it comes, and I am no more pregnant than I was a month ago. Not only am I not pregnant, but I think I am putting the hunt on hold for a while.
The guy I blogged about in my last entry decided not to speak with me again. He was very interested, on Thursday, but come Friday he was neglectful. I am tired of the constant rejection, and I am just plain tired. I feel like all the hope and optimism I was allotted for this lifetime has run out, and there are no free refills.
More than ever, I want a baby. I spoke with Rose, and told her the miracle of breastfeeding to try and veer her away from her closed minded fear of it, and it just made my heart sink into my empty uterus. It is the most awful feeling, this feeling of wanting.
I am not putting motherhood on a shelf, I am just taking a break from the act of hunting. I will blog again when I am feeling a bit better.
Thanks for reading.
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