CD 49~7 DPO

It has officially been a week since I inseminated, and since I ovulated. I am halfway through the dreaded two week wait. My emotions have kind of teeter-tottered today; my symptoms are amazing, I'm pregnant! there's no way I could be pregnant, I'm infertile.

I'm just so darn afraid of the reality check I'm going to get at the end of this hopeful journey--it can't last forever!

That being said, I've had some symptoms today, whether real or imaginary. I had more vivid dreams; one was so beautiful it looked like a postcard and wish I had a picture of it. I am still sore, and am convinced now that it is the increase in progesterone because I had similar problems when I was on birth control. I had some spotting, first in the morning--red--and then this evening--light red/pink. My nose is stuffy, and I've had a few shooting pains on the sides of both breasts.

My temp rose a bit this morning too, although I woke early again so I had to use the temp corrector...again. Feels a bit like cheating, but it's pretty accurate. Hoping it is even higher tomorrow, no more of this zig zag business!

I just checked my cervix, and it was almost unbearable. It is very high, and closed, but I couldn't tell the texture because it hurt too much. There is no mucus at all. May need to get checked out if this doesn't clear up in the next few days.

CD 49:

BBT: 36.3 C (Adjusted from 36.12 C taken two hours early.)
CM: Dry, tacky, spotting
CP: High, closed

7 DPO Symptoms:

• Temp rise
• Soreness continues
• Shooting pains in breasts
• Itchy nipples
• Nausea
• Spotting
• Tired
• Vivid dreams
• Hungry
  

CD 48~6 DPO

I hate to sound like a broken record, but--I've made it six days now!!! *Happy Dance*

I'm so worried that the other shoe will fall. That I will get my period (which after two weeks would make me happy, but not this early), that my temperature will drop and stay down, or that my luteal phase will stretch so long I have to accept that I never ovulated.

Let's hope none of that happens! I slept super late today, which is typical of me, but I did wake up on time to temp. It dipped a bit, which is okay as long as it goes up tomorrow and stays up after that. It goes with the twinges I had last night, but I have a hard time believing it might possibly be implantation.

I had gas again today, and a stuffy nose, and for the past few hours I've been nauseous. It feels similar to how I felt in the first trimester with Montana; like there is something lying at the bottom of my stomach. Not so much acid as, well, poop. Gross, I know! But when I was pregnant, and had to use the washroom, I had this feeling. I would run to the bathroom, but if I was too late, I would throw up. That's how this feels. Probably only because I want it so much, though.

More dreams last night. They included crashing a Mary Kay helicopter, being accused of flirting with a married coworker, and moving to a place but not knowing where it was. Strange.

Also, I checked my cervix a couple times today, and it was almost sore. Not the actual cervix, just the area surrounding it. Not sure if it's the lack of mucus or what, but worth noting.

CD 48:

BBT: 36.15 C
CM: Dry, creamy, almost EWCM
CP: Medium, soft, closed

6 DPO Symptoms:

• Nausea
• Gas
• Sore underarms
• Headache
• Temp dip
• Vivid crazy ass dreams
  

CD 47 ~ 5 DPO

Five days and counting!

I woke up a couple hours early today, either because of my cat or because of my about-to-burst bladder. Luckily I remembered to take my temperature before getting out of bed, and then used the online temp corrector. It was a nice jump from yesterday (0.432 Fahrenheit, which qualifies as a 'spike'.)

I went to a party tonight, and didn't drink much in case it hinders implantation, and I ate pineapple which apparently helps implantation, so hopefully everything is okay there. I did feel twinges while I was at the party, but it's pretty early, so I'm sure it's psychological.

I had some very strange dreams again--I haven't mentioned them yet, so here is a bit of description:

1. I was a vampire, and someone drove a stake through my heart. I had a baby, and when I died I could feel my hand burning, I think it was about to explode, and I think this meant my baby would die too.
2. I was spotting, brown, then pink, light red, and then tons of brown globs. I thought at first it was implantation, but there was so much that it made me think it was my period. I dipped 2 FRER tests at the same time, and they both instantly became positive. I kept spotting these brown bits, and had unbearable cramps, so I was worried it was a miscarriage. (When I woke up I was so convinced I'd have my period or spotting because the dream was so real.)
   
3. Someone's teenage daughter was murdered, so I went to the house to comfort the family and try to figure out what happened, even though I didn't know the people. One of the younger brothers clung to me and I became responsible for him, and then I became engaged to the murdered girl's older boyfriend. There was more to this dream but it's fuzzy to me now.
4. My close friend's son somehow set my hair on fire the first time I met him.

My dreams have been...interesting. For some reason heat is prominent, but I don't know what that means except maybe my body temperature is rising while I sleep.

My cervix is very low today, which is typical post-ovulation, and that makes me happy!

I am tired now, so I will be back soon!

CD 47:

BBT: 36.31 C (Adjusted from 36.12 C two hours earlier than my usual temp time)
CM: Creamy (big globs of yellow and clear)
CP: Low, closed, medium-firm

5 DPO Symptoms:

• Vivid dreams
• Temp spike
• Twinges
• Headache
• Tired
• Thirsty
• Bloated
• Low cervix
• Increase in mucus, although still feeling "dry"
  

CD 46~4 DPO

I have made it to 4 dpo! My temp did go down a bit, but not enough to worry. When I look at charts online, it seems that a 4 dpo dip is very common. I am hoping for a rise tomorrow to show a normal luteal phase. I can't really think beyond that, this day-to-day focus is really helping.

CD 46:

BBT: 36.07 C
CM: Dry, sticky, bit of creamy
CP: Low, closed, medium-firm

4 DPO Symptoms:

• Temp dip
• Gas
• Low cervix
• Backache
• Vivid dreams
• Prominent veins
• Montgomery's tubercles
• Headache
• Dizziness
• Bleeding gums
  

CD 45~3 DPO

I can't believe it... my body ovulated. My temperatures have gone up three days in a row! I have real crosshairs on my chart--they're solid, not dotted! This is the first time since I started charting that I have had solid crosshairs, so I am very happy. I am trying to focus on that fact rather than the whole ovulation-makes-a-baby dream.

CD 45:

BBT: 36.25 C
CM: Dry/sticky
CP: Low, medium-firm, closed

CD 44:

BBT: 36.17 C (Adjusted from 36.06 C an hour earlier than my usual temp time)
CP: High, soft, closed

CD 43:

BBT: 35.99 C
CP: Medium, medium, open

0-3 DPO Symptoms:

• Fatigue
• Headaches
• Pinching in abdomen
• Increased libido
• Backache
• Stuffy nose
• Stress
• Eczema
  

CD 42

Okay I'm back. I have thought a lot about everything, and after I calmed down and could think rationally again, I decided I will try my best to finish out 2011. I emailed SD2 and told him my plan: Every time I get a positive OPK, I will try to conceive, and hope that one of those OPK's results in ovulation.

Last night I got an OPK that was positive, or close to it, and egg-white mucus, so I had SD2 come over today.

I also emailed one of the people who give psychic predictions about conception, but it looks like it could take a month or so to get some results. It will be interesting to see what she says!

CD 42:

BBT: 35.73 C

CD 41:

CM: Eggwhite, creamy
CP: High, closed

CD 40:

BBT: 36.12 C

CD 39:

BBT: 36.09 C

CD 38:

BBT: 35.89 C
CM: Watery
CP: Low, firm, medium-open

CD 37:

CM: Eggwhite
CP: High, medium, closed

CD 36

Not really into talking about anything.. I'll just make this short.

I've taken other tests, all negative, so I have to assume that line was a freak thing; a false positive or an evaporation line.

Temp is staying down, my chart moved ovulation up to CD 31, meaning I am 5 DPO now. I don't even think I ovulated.

Still super tired, which feels like when I was pregnant but is probably the stress and depression of it all.

I don't know where I stand on TTC at this point, I think I'm at rock bottom. It is all consuming, and unhealthy. I'm thinking of seeing a therapist to help me deal with everything. I don't know when I'll blog again, I'm just taking it a day at a time for now.

CD 36:

BBT: 35.95 C
CM: Creamy
CP: High, closed

CD 35:

BBT: 36.02 C