CD 57~15 DPO

My two week wait is officially over, and yet--it's not. I am 15 dpo, with no sign of Aunt Flo, and two negative tests.

Of course, there is a chance I didn't hold my urine long enough, or or or... what's the use? I'm not pregnant, despite all the signs.

I had major backache and hip ache earlier today, not like cramps but more a throbbing ache.

No other changes.

CD 57:

BBT: 36.09 C
CM: Creamy, sticky
CP: Medium-high, medium-closed, soft

15 DPO Symptoms:

• Temp dip
• Back ache
• Hip ache
• Tender nipples
• Headache
• BFN
  

CD 56~14 DPO

Hmm, somehow I missed yesterday. I could have sworn I blogged!

My temps have made a lovely W shape on my chart over the past few days, they are so indecisive. However, they are still well above cover.

No sign of my period, which I'm hoping is a good sign at 14 dpo, but because I don't know about my luteal phase or anything else cycle related, I can't say for sure.

My cervix is still high, soft, and closed. It dipped a bit this afternoon but didn't stay there, it likes to stay up out of reach. The mucus has increased, I am not dry anymore (thank goodness!) and I've had globs of yellow. Absolutely NO spotting since 11 dpo, which is extremely rare for me.

My breasts haven't changed much, except for a little while the areolas looked purple--yes, purple--and today the nipples were white.

If my period doesn't show up tomorrow I will pick up a test, but I don't know if I'll use it right away, it depends on my temps.

CD 56:

BBT: 36.19 C (Adjusted from 36.02 C taken 90 minutes early)
CM: Creamy, yellow globs
CP: High, soft, closed

CD 55:

BBT: 36.18 C
CM: Creamy
CP: High, medium-firm, closed

13-14 DPO Symptoms:

• High cervix
• Yellow cm
• Headaches
• Purple areolas
• White nipples
• Puffy areolas
• Montgomery's Tubercles
• Prominent veins
• Intermittent nausea
• Backache
  

CD 54~12 DPO

My temp went down again today, to the same temp I got at 10 dpo. So I should be getting my period. I haven't had any spotting at all since 10 dpo, which I find very odd since I usually get around 4 days of spotting before my period--continuous spotting, not just here and there. I can't help but hope for implantation bleeding, but I think it could be the Vitamin B6 helping my luteal defect, which is also good news!

My cervix is still high, went from soft to firm, still closed, and very wet. I've had a definite increase in cm, which has made a huge difference--I'm not sore now.

My breasts are crazy; my areolas are quite large (not darker, though) and covered in Montgomery's Tubercles, bright blue and purple veins (I don't usually see the purple ones) and are puffy. My nipples are usually erect, but they have been mostly puffy, and tingly. They feel different.

I've googled the crap out of my poor laptop, but no matter what I search, I cannot get any answers because it's my body, not the Internet. Unfortunately, that means more waiting. I am fairly certain I will get my period in a couple days, and I have to accept that.

For my next cycle, I'm not sure what I'll do. I only have two soy isoflavones left, so I am torn: Do I take them, or will that just mess things up? I have a wonderful, dear friend, who I have met online, who is going to send me Clomid! (And I believe she really will, not like the other one who broke my heart.) So that will help me for my next cycle, but unless my period is really delayed, I won't get it in time for this cycle. So I am kind of lost as to what to do, but it will depend on when I start CD1.

CD 54:

BBT: 36 C
CM: Creamy!! No spotting!
CP: High, closed

12 DPO Symptoms:

• Temp drop
• Increased cm
• High cervix
• Prominent veins
• Large areolas
• Puffy nipples
• Tingly nipples (feels like they're hardening, but when I check they're still puffy)
• Yellow urine
• More urine--not more often, just a lot at once
• Headaches
  

CD 53~11 DPO

Temp went up a bit, but now I have red spotting.

Took a test anyway, and it was negative.

CD 53:

BBT: 36.13 C (Adjusted from 36.09 taken 20 minutes early)
CM: Creamy (finally have some now) with pink and red spotting
CP: High, soft, medium-closed

11 DPO Symptoms:

• Red spotting
• BFN
• Headache
• Nausea
• Stomach feels like it's on fire (similar to flu)
• Headache
• Depression
• High cervix
• Prominent veins
• Montgomery's Tubercles
• Puffy nipples
• Buzzed after one beer
  

CD 52~10 DPO

Temp dropped today.

That was going to be my only sentence tonight, but I'm not as depressed as I was this morning. My temperature dropped 0.36 F from yesterday, but is still above my coverline. I thought for sure I was out, my period will come any time. I still think that, but I know that it isn't for certain.

My cervix is high and closed, and feels soft now. There hasn't been one spot at all, which for me is unheard of before my period starts, so it could be one of three things: My period is still a few days off; the vitamin b6 I've been taking is working on my luteal phase; my period isn't coming at all and this is implantation. Now, of course, I'm praying for the third scenario, but I am accepting that it may be the others. It would be good news to have my period after 12 DPO without spotting, or minimal spotting, because this gives me hope for future cycles.

My breasts change throughout the day, as does the rest of my body, but still look large and veiny. They feel very puffy, also.

For the past hour or so I've been feeling twinges and discomfort, but it could be in my head. It isn't like cramps, which makes sense because I only get cramps after my period starts officially. I felt pressure earlier, and thought for sure my period was coming, but no spotting, red or otherwise. I do feel like it is coming.

I am still very dry, but when I checked my cervix last it definitely felt wetter--I'm hoping my cm is increasing, regardless of pregnancy. I may need to buy some lube, and I've never used it!

So, as it stands, my only hope is a temp rise tomorrow. That won't guarantee anything, but will give me a little hope, and will mean that my period won't start too early.

CD 52:

BBT: 36 C
CM: Dry, then a bit watery
CP: High, closed, firm then soft

10 DPO Symptoms:

• Temp drop
• Headache
• Prominent veins
• Puffy nipples
• Pressure in abdomen
• Twinges
• Pre-af feeling/discomfort
• High cervix
• Increase in ear wax
• Thirsty
  
• Stress
• Sad
  

CD 51~9 DPO

Losing hope, aaaaahh!! Someone catch me!

Woke early again, used temp corrector again (starting to become a routine here) and it was slightly lower than yesterday, but still far above cover.

I had more spotting today, but I felt around, and I don't think the blood is coming from my cervix. I think I am just so irritated that it is rubbing raw *ouch*.

My breasts looked different today, it's hard to explain but they seemed more..centered. Large areolas, larger nipples, covered in veins both blue and purple. Shooting pains are coming back right now too.

My cervix is slightly open, which worries me, but I have read online that it is okay at this stage. However, if I see more spotting, I'll have to assume that my period is on its way.

I cracked open a beer tonight and couldn't drink more than half; it made me nauseous and I just felt yucky.

Planning on taking a test this weekend. I'd like to wait until Saturday, but because I drink on Friday nights I may have to rule it out that morning. I will be 11-12 dpo by then, and will only test if my temps stay up. If they drop, I will wait to see if I get my period.

**Just went to the bathroom before bed and there was a nice glob of creamy cm!
CD 51:

BBT: 36.2 C (Adjusted from 6:30 temp 36.02 C)
CM: Dry, glob of creamy
CP: Medium, medium, medium

9 DPO Symptoms:

• Restless night
• Slightly open cervix
• Spotting
• Sore/raw feeling
• Prominent veins
• Felt sick after beer
• Stuffy nose
• Sore throat
• Shooting pains
• Tired
• Feeling "out"
  

CD 50~8 DPO

Today was pretty uneventful.

Montana woke up me up at 5:30 this morning because she had a bad dream, and I took my temperature, but I don't think I had enough sleep beforehand for it to be reliable. I used the temp corrector and added it to my chart anyway.

After that restless sleep, I had to push myself through work, and crashed when I got home. I had shooting pains in my breasts, mostly the right, but that has faded.

There has been no spotting or cramps, which is great news--if my period was on its way I would probably be spotting more and more.

The nausea has subsided, so I think it was caused by the progesterone (or was psychosomatic).

The soreness has also started to ease, so I'm not sure if it was the progesterone, or because I tried using Canesten, but I'm hoping it continues to heal.

My cervix is high and closed, but there still isn't much mucus, which isn't helping the soreness.

I am losing hope, having a pessimistic kind of day, but we'll see what my temp is in the morning.

CD 50:

BBT: 36.27 C (adjusted from 35.99 C taken 2.5 hours early)
CM: Pretty dry, some EWCM
CP: High, soft, closed

8 DPO Symptoms:

• Tired
• Restless sleep
• Shooting pains
• Itchy nipple
• High cervix
  

CD 49~7 DPO

It has officially been a week since I inseminated, and since I ovulated. I am halfway through the dreaded two week wait. My emotions have kind of teeter-tottered today; my symptoms are amazing, I'm pregnant! there's no way I could be pregnant, I'm infertile.

I'm just so darn afraid of the reality check I'm going to get at the end of this hopeful journey--it can't last forever!

That being said, I've had some symptoms today, whether real or imaginary. I had more vivid dreams; one was so beautiful it looked like a postcard and wish I had a picture of it. I am still sore, and am convinced now that it is the increase in progesterone because I had similar problems when I was on birth control. I had some spotting, first in the morning--red--and then this evening--light red/pink. My nose is stuffy, and I've had a few shooting pains on the sides of both breasts.

My temp rose a bit this morning too, although I woke early again so I had to use the temp corrector...again. Feels a bit like cheating, but it's pretty accurate. Hoping it is even higher tomorrow, no more of this zig zag business!

I just checked my cervix, and it was almost unbearable. It is very high, and closed, but I couldn't tell the texture because it hurt too much. There is no mucus at all. May need to get checked out if this doesn't clear up in the next few days.

CD 49:

BBT: 36.3 C (Adjusted from 36.12 C taken two hours early.)
CM: Dry, tacky, spotting
CP: High, closed

7 DPO Symptoms:

• Temp rise
• Soreness continues
• Shooting pains in breasts
• Itchy nipples
• Nausea
• Spotting
• Tired
• Vivid dreams
• Hungry
  

CD 48~6 DPO

I hate to sound like a broken record, but--I've made it six days now!!! *Happy Dance*

I'm so worried that the other shoe will fall. That I will get my period (which after two weeks would make me happy, but not this early), that my temperature will drop and stay down, or that my luteal phase will stretch so long I have to accept that I never ovulated.

Let's hope none of that happens! I slept super late today, which is typical of me, but I did wake up on time to temp. It dipped a bit, which is okay as long as it goes up tomorrow and stays up after that. It goes with the twinges I had last night, but I have a hard time believing it might possibly be implantation.

I had gas again today, and a stuffy nose, and for the past few hours I've been nauseous. It feels similar to how I felt in the first trimester with Montana; like there is something lying at the bottom of my stomach. Not so much acid as, well, poop. Gross, I know! But when I was pregnant, and had to use the washroom, I had this feeling. I would run to the bathroom, but if I was too late, I would throw up. That's how this feels. Probably only because I want it so much, though.

More dreams last night. They included crashing a Mary Kay helicopter, being accused of flirting with a married coworker, and moving to a place but not knowing where it was. Strange.

Also, I checked my cervix a couple times today, and it was almost sore. Not the actual cervix, just the area surrounding it. Not sure if it's the lack of mucus or what, but worth noting.

CD 48:

BBT: 36.15 C
CM: Dry, creamy, almost EWCM
CP: Medium, soft, closed

6 DPO Symptoms:

• Nausea
• Gas
• Sore underarms
• Headache
• Temp dip
• Vivid crazy ass dreams
  

CD 47 ~ 5 DPO

Five days and counting!

I woke up a couple hours early today, either because of my cat or because of my about-to-burst bladder. Luckily I remembered to take my temperature before getting out of bed, and then used the online temp corrector. It was a nice jump from yesterday (0.432 Fahrenheit, which qualifies as a 'spike'.)

I went to a party tonight, and didn't drink much in case it hinders implantation, and I ate pineapple which apparently helps implantation, so hopefully everything is okay there. I did feel twinges while I was at the party, but it's pretty early, so I'm sure it's psychological.

I had some very strange dreams again--I haven't mentioned them yet, so here is a bit of description:

1. I was a vampire, and someone drove a stake through my heart. I had a baby, and when I died I could feel my hand burning, I think it was about to explode, and I think this meant my baby would die too.
2. I was spotting, brown, then pink, light red, and then tons of brown globs. I thought at first it was implantation, but there was so much that it made me think it was my period. I dipped 2 FRER tests at the same time, and they both instantly became positive. I kept spotting these brown bits, and had unbearable cramps, so I was worried it was a miscarriage. (When I woke up I was so convinced I'd have my period or spotting because the dream was so real.)
   
3. Someone's teenage daughter was murdered, so I went to the house to comfort the family and try to figure out what happened, even though I didn't know the people. One of the younger brothers clung to me and I became responsible for him, and then I became engaged to the murdered girl's older boyfriend. There was more to this dream but it's fuzzy to me now.
4. My close friend's son somehow set my hair on fire the first time I met him.

My dreams have been...interesting. For some reason heat is prominent, but I don't know what that means except maybe my body temperature is rising while I sleep.

My cervix is very low today, which is typical post-ovulation, and that makes me happy!

I am tired now, so I will be back soon!

CD 47:

BBT: 36.31 C (Adjusted from 36.12 C two hours earlier than my usual temp time)
CM: Creamy (big globs of yellow and clear)
CP: Low, closed, medium-firm

5 DPO Symptoms:

• Vivid dreams
• Temp spike
• Twinges
• Headache
• Tired
• Thirsty
• Bloated
• Low cervix
• Increase in mucus, although still feeling "dry"